the last thing i remember is fucking her. GAME CHANGER i woke up in another bedroom to her younger sister blowing me
I was looking at some smoking pipes on amazon the other day and realized that work people could look at my history and do a drug test. So I immediately started looking at Sherlock Holmes hats.
You know who really doesn't like surpise in-your-face air guitar solos? Strangers.
He snuck into my grandmothers house, broke her lamp, fucked me, then had breakfast with us the next morning. I am an awful granddaughter.
You are the worst substitute drug dealer ever
passed a homeless guy with a sign that read "420 vetran" we gave him a bowl of bud
I think my multiple attempts of taking his life, no matter how unintentional they were, has put a damper on our friendship
I'm ultimately at thr Shariton to drink and ppssibly puke on fancy shit. Thats my story and Im sticking to it.
I'm like a freaking volcano of life and sexual frustrations
Yeah like stabbing myself through the eye with a coffee stir and bleeding out all over the office rug
I love my cat. she doesnt judge when i stumble in my house drunk and pass out on my floor. my dog looks at me disappointed.
Her name was Danica but I felt like it would be hard to say drunk so I called her Shelby
Well, you started screaming "I dont know you GO AWAY" to your mom when she was holding your hair as you threw up in her garden.
I woke up under the stretchy sheet like the corners were still stuck under the bed. I had to wiggle the corners off in order to get up. I was trapped. how did that happen
Sex. Target parking lot. I really am the mayor.
Randomize
