And then he asked me why the subtitles were in Arabic. The television was off.
Just met a female bro. Things are weird at the rugby party.
Fat lady wearing Shape Up's. I would feel bad making crude comments, but she has to know it's coming.
Just found a picture of me licking the bouncers ear last night
Dude they are all farmers and I'm pretty sure there's a prostitute here.
Ok say I was sexually attracted to a patient who also happens to be in high school...on how many levels is that illegal? And will I actually hear the laws break when I fuck him
It's cheaper then a lap dance and you get your hair cut.
You looked like my 4th grade science fair volcano project when you burped. Told you chugging a 40 would be awesome.
Would you be offended if I asked you to smoke a blunt with me while I pooped?
There is no way I am paying you $5 apiece for pot brownies you found behind a dumpster. $2, maybe.
Why did you send me 12 pictures in a row of your expressionless face at 2:30 am?
Is it sad that I planned a a romantic trip to dunkin donuts for and with myself on Saturday, then added an equally romantic after midnight stroll through the half off candy sale? I find that worthy of adding a few cats to my collection agree?
I'm glad you enjoyed the night but why were you calling me "daddy"?
I think someone shaved off all their pubes in the handicap stall or a werewolf stopped by the office to take a crAzy dump!
my night went from a boring school play to hotboxing a car with 3 criminals
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