We were so tired we rock paper scissored for who would be on top. I won.
Just wanted to make sure that my favorite hot mess is still alive. I dont need words, just a response of any sort. K hope youre living
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This is sufficient.
almost passed out on the way to class today.. laid down in a construction site. bad idea
After throwing up, the toothpaste tasted so good. Thank you for not letting me eat it.
As I was brushing his cum out of my hair he looks at me and says "it happens to me all the time."
He made me brush his hair afterwards because it made him feel like a ken Barbie.
God I hope the sex was good.
It was rough. I have dried puke in my hair and I don't know if it's mine or from the girl I met on the ground waiting for a cab.
My roommates said duck dynasty was stupid ... toto i don't believe we're in kansas anymore.
so she gave me back a bag of clothing, had some boxers in it...they werent mine.... well that sums up 5 years of my life
HE WAS SUPPOSED TO BE THE TROPHY HUSBAND! I WAS GOING TO BE THE SUCCESSFUL ONE!
All you need is a handful of lube and an open mind
My phone has started autocorrecting "monogamy" to "monogamish"
You would be successful and sober without me. you can't turn your bakon me now
She threw my purse across the room almost broke a lamp and this all started bc she forgot what an air mattress was
We somehow ended up in Oklahoma. Nick's been crapping for two hours and I'm afraid to call a doctor because who the hell knows what sort of stuff goes down in the middle of nowhere. So not a great long weekend really.
Randomize
