i just want to meat her and do terribly wonderful things to her vagina...
Nakedness is not a toga. Just sayin
I actually told the people in the movie theatre to give me a cup and I would dip water from the toilet before I paid $4.50 for a bottle of water.
I have shoes on. No pants. And my jacket pockets are full of ketchup and grass. Yes. Good night.
When she was giving me head last night it felt like there was a NASCAR pit crew working on my dick.
Hey we need to step our game up. Dad has us beat; he stole a vending machine once.
They poured beer (3 cans) down the toilet so bubbles can be drunk in fishy heaven
He kept walking up to every girl at the party saying "Hi, I'm George Clooney. No I won't marry you." He left with three girls.
But he has cupcakes AND I'm guaranteed an orgasm. .. I feel like I shouldn't even have to actually make a decision here.
He sent me a blank text message. That's a booty call waiting to happen
We drove through Taco-Bell on our way to the ER
I don't know about this Sanders guy after all. I'm voting for MYSTERY BABYLON, WHORE OF ALL THE EARTH
Hillary?
I will 100% jerk off using my own tears as lube before I'd ever bang a 4.
from across the room i saw you look into your beer and whisper "i love you"
because he's a firefighter, wouldn't sleeping with him be like saying thank you to the community?
Randomize