those are such fre$h shoes
going to ignore the use of the word "fresh" in a sentence that isnt related to produce and/or other food stuffs and especially the part where you replaced an "s" with a dollar sign
Why does everyone think all I do is drink? I go to class on wednesdays
i am not listening to taylor swift on a pink ipod. totally not happening.
this crazy girl in up in Dennys is going crazy because Bob Saget just texted her.
Wearing the BK Crown on the throne while dropping the kids off at the pool? Yes, one of my life's goals. Win
Look at the bright side...I have an 11 inch penis
If one more "stranger" walks up to me at the bar and asks how I have been, I am going to rehab.
I wouldn't necessarily say I'm in her pants...I'd say I'm more on the on ramp to the freeway to the long way to her pants. There really isn't a short cut.
Also on a more serious note, what says pull my hair more: straight or soft curls?
This spray tan I used isn't working out. I spent an hour exfoliating and rubbing the damn stuff in with rubber gloves. I wanted the alluring, sun-kissed, sexy look. I've achieved smelling like burnt popcorn and the cats won't stop licking me. I'm a salt lick for cats.
Sometimes crazy just comes naturally. I don't need booze to say that on occasion I feel the need to rip off my asshole and throw it against the fridge to see if it sticks.
It's been over a year since we've been get-so-drunk-you-throw-beer-cans-at-fat-girls-drunk together. That needs to change.
I dont have to work tomorrow im yelling gibberish at squirrels
He chose me to be his birthday sex..theres a lot of pressure riding on this bang
She super glued his penis to his testicles. And shaved off a good portion of his hair after he passed out at the party.
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