I have no voice and feel like lukewarm beer.
I'm sorry for everything. i woke up with two citations stapled to my shirt.
This girl brought half a watermelon to class. I want to be on her level.
Yea. You cant just squeeze my balls. They are sensitive
thats the 2nd threesome ive been accused of this week
She only spoke Russian, but she was so gorgeous it didn't matter
Oh. I think she ate all the cake and took our vodka...still gorgeous.
You're asking your pregnant booty call to go to a funeral with you?
No. No. No. No one's allowed to fuck in the yurt.
I felt really bad for not letting her go in, it was like we were dangling lesbians in front of her
I have 80 very blurry photos of you on a stripper pole...
The contents of my fridge consist of alcohol, Nuva ring, and cheesecake. I'm that girl.
My first love was gay too, it's okay.
I know you do it only because of my toyota, but thank you for fucking me. Seriously.
She's wear your skin crazy! Is it wrong that I'm gonna fuck her 1 more time though?
I flushed a potato down the toilet so now we have to live in a hotel.
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