Well to be completely honest its more of a 'i wanna do things to you that your parents would not enjoy hearing about' mood
i dont care that its taken 20 hrs to pee without hurting, BEST HATE SEX EVER.
i forgot how awkward it is to meet new people sober
so literally, as soon as i tripped and fell and hit the floor the earthquake started. hows THAT for a self esteem boost?
my step dad just called me a drunken slut..someone in my family finally understands me
So basically our separate showers turned into one shower, to save water, which turned into a bath, which turned into sex on the bed, which turned into drinking beer in the bed, and thats what the stain is from... bud light. sorry.
found used condoms and an omlet in my uggs. I'm disgusted but not surprised.
there is no excuse for him not showing up to my st. patrick's day party. i touch his dick. i get him on the high holidays.
He paid me to blow him while doing a handstand. Does that make me a whore or just a budding gymnast?
Not enough. Tell the person next to you to give you their drink. I give you permission. And then chug it. Be a hero tonight.
Yes I hit her with my car. Yes I gave her a ride home. And yes she gave me her number. What's the problem?
He was still there when I ran half naked into my suitemate's room where she was skyping her boyfriend and I started singing I JUST HAD SEEEEX
I forgot drug dealers have families, too. Cheers to a sober, uncomfortable, slightly enraging Thanksgiving.
He knocked me in the face with the phone during my light show. Didn't even feel it. Ecstasy is amazing
I fell out of the car while it was moving then got puked on then puked and cried about then got back in the car and puked out the window when we started moving again
Randomize
