i just passed a truck with a bumper sticker saying "i'd rather be cummin than strokin." god bless the midwest.
okay I'm thinking he doens't have a facebook...I'm on page 28 of Hunters
ok you need to stop NOW
Sad Moment: I only had enough $ at 711 to buy chips or salsa. I chose salsa and took a plastic spoon
There was a pool of blood on my desk and we still don't know who it belongs to. missed a good party, man.
so all the bums hang out by my new store, they have a leader we call king bum... He got dethroned by police today for choking out a hooker. The bum heirarchy is in shambles right now.
I just wanted to yell " i am not a shake weight!!"
you can't just make up for the fact that you broke up with me by tagging yourelf in my embarrassing facebook videos of you
do you have any idea how hard it is to keep a boner while another dude is writing on your dick in sharpie?
Driving by his house every hour is not stalking, it's a reconnaissance mission... How else can I confront him
I think that's the key to being an adult though... Get those rapid fire beer shits out I the way early, then you can go about your grown man business
You tried to impress her by kicking the 5th floor button in the elevator, but you ended up kicking everything from 3 to 11. Then you said, "pretty accurate, huh ladies?"
Look. When I let you cum on my tits don't fuck it all up by going "SKEET SKEET SKEET" it just pisses me off.
So when's a good time this week to show up at your apartment in nothing but a trench coat and a bow? Y'know. Hypothetically.
It's cool bro. The video I have of you drunk trying to fix it with the sonic screwdriver was worth it.
You're wasting your dick. It needs to be bestowed upon the masses.
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