Yeah, but there's no serving sizes for dick.
I've been at work 30 min broke a paper towel holder a chair set a box on fire and fell down twice. Hungover Brian just reached a new level
Let's be honest. I make up for my well below average sized penis with a great personality and a possibly successful future
I hit a child with a fudge sickle from a moving vehicle after he flipped me off, I feel like a God. Tell no one. My partner didn't see it.
Here is a brilliant idea passed on from men who have that same regret. WEAR A FUCKING CONDOM ALWAYS.
it was one of those unspoken contracts of silence like "I teach your daughter and you work at a strip club"...I don't tell if you don't
I'm texting you know although you won't get this until you wake up. the only reason you are strapped to your bed is because you were trying to fly out your window.
I know I'm drunk but why am I receiving this handjob through the pant leg of my shorts..?
I really need to stop having sex.. I haven't been able to get a brush through the back of my hair for a good week and a half
Just fyi i'm now butt naked in a steam room smoking a bong in some guys house. i sense the weed penetrating my pores.
I just convinced a telemarketer I live in a tree.
What did he say?
He still asked if I want a home security system.
ALL I WANT IN MY MOUTH IS A GLORIOUS COCK SMOTHERED IN CHOCOLATE. DICK AND CHOCOLATE; IS IT TOO MUCH FOR A GIRL TO ASK FOR?!
It still amazes me Mike had to have neck surgery after eating me out so much.
So if your sore it's because you tried to tackle a tree last night. When I told you at the party, you said "What do you expect, I'm an athlete!"
I never thought I'd be complaining about having sex 4 times a day, but here we are...
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