puked in the new hous. now it's officially home.
So. Camera broke because I tried to wash it under the sink, kristi had to take me home and I woke up to my computer showing me that I googled how t take more than one shot at a time. I'd say the night was a success.
you didnt know i had herpes?
As a side note, my abs are sore. Most likely cause? Orgasms. Thank you.
This dude is being a total douche
Just because it's Christmas Eve does not mean the liquor store has to give you a free bottle of peppermint schnapps
We tried to line dance with everyone but it turned into drunken stumbling and attempting to grind on random frat boys. I feel that this might turn into an every Thursday thing.
I drunkenly transformed into shehulk last night and lifted every single guy off the ground bc one guy told me that there was no way I was strong enough. Don't worry, I proved them wrong. Stupid stereotypical men.
I agreed not to hook up with any randoms while she's on vacation, if that isn't a show of good faith then I don't know what is...
I asked the cop if I could see his dick- It's not like he could arrest me twice.
I tried to twerk on a barn in 3 inch heels at a party last night and nose dived into mud. These were all new friends. I'm probably not allowed back. Cool.
Is it bad that I tried to build an outfit based around "What do people who use condoms look like when they buy condoms?"
Everyone is a disappointment when you lose your virginity to nine inches
That's why we have robots to masturbate for us
Finally fucked my buddy's mom!! We are both ten years older and for her it really shows but i hit it!!
Pooping to opera.
Randomize
