Be sure to let me know if your relationship crumbles so I can resume hitting on you
You found a girl to hook up with at a gay bar?
No. His name was Paco. I didn't get it by choice. I never had a hickey before.
You're only the seventh guy she's ever kissed. Somesones gunna get EPICALLY stalked
im watching shaqs comedy special. this is how i know im not sober.
i almost got kicked out of the rave because i was trying to get in on some couple's makeout sessions
I go to guys houses late at night, have a little fun, come back by dawn having made their life a little bit better. I am the official blow job fairy.
THERE IS THE SEXIEST BEARDED MAN HERE. I CAME EVERYWHERE.
My kindergarten teacher served me... All coming full circle
Kristy will be communicating through my phone. Due to her current blood alcohol level, the laws of Pennsylvania, Erie county, and common decency have deemed that she is no longer permitted to have her own phone.
Ummm Im the uneducated alcoholic of the group... if I say its a bad idea, its probably a bad idea.
High-fiving last weekend's hook up in passing on the way to class has given me quite the lady boner.
and then you called me a third time and yelled that you were stealing a puppy named Willow
The party was Hollywood themed and I won an oscar for "finest ass in a leading role"
She's hot and all. It's just I don't want to become Eskimo brothers with my sister
When you trip so hard that you can see your friends thoughts through their pupils.
Randomize
