I closed that bar. Sang every Beatles song in the book. Made Somoan friends.
I just want to apologize for screaming when I saw you the other day. It's just that you looked really gross and I was high.
i just realized i dont have a sober facebook picture since 2007
I probably shouldn't have followed up that rainbow sherbet with beef jerky. This is a whole new level of fat, even for me.
im laying here in the parking lot drinking a warm coke, prob still drunk, feeling like i need to apologize to everyone i know
Attn: you have now used your free, one time admission to pleasure town. Thank you for visiting I hope you enjoyed your trip. All future trips to P.T. Will cost you full admission price. We have different pricing plans to accommodate different situations, and remember it is more of a bartering system than a set price. Your patronage is always welcomed and once again thank you for visiting and have a fantastic evening.
If you value your immune system buddy, walk away from that one.
At the same time that I bought plan b I got some Girl Scout cookies too. It's not a total loss for you.
I'm slightly more gay than I thought. I'd go so far as to say I'm a top.
I'm so cold without your freakishly high body temperature
that's the equivalent to a normal girlfriends. 'I miss you' btw
Dude how much would someone have to pay you to get you to slide your vagina across a bald man's head because Honestly I'd do it for the experience alone. but money would be nice too\n\nI'm thinkin like 500 bucks. Maybe 700
Why are you like this.
if I was a good friend this would be the time that i would remind you that you have a boyfriend
I didnt know whether I was going to vomit or orgasm because I was feeling both sensations
He sent me a text saying his breakfast today was leftover mead and some fruit salad
You know the story of the boner party, right? They got stuck in the mountains and ate each other?
It was the Donner party... boner party was the porn version...
Randomize
