i just smoke outta the biggest bowl i've ever seen. the kid was totally compensating for a tiny weeenie.
she just fell off the couch. onto a bag of pretzels. her face resembled a cat that just swallowed a sock.
I cant go down on him yet. All ive had to eat is olives and percocet. semen would only add to tomorow mornings discomfort.
He tugged on my tampon string and said 'there's a snake in my boot'. Needless to say he called me Woody and quoted Toy Story the rest of the night.
S and I had anal without a condom because I'm on my rag but he didn't finish. Should I still take Plan B?
Somebody was walking their dog with their car. seriously
And im sorry for wishing your girlfriend gets genital warts.
You were trying to swim on the floor while eating a hot-dog bun and laughing about how much you hate bread and didn't understand why you were eating it..
You'll get a boner for sure
Way ahead of you. Kinda awkward while paying rent but hey
I have made the descision to sacrifice the first of my family's dogs that wakes me before noon tomorrow. I may quickly become the family outcast
I'm hungover laying in my moms bed watching Space Jam.. Adult Life..
Don't be the guy that has his dick out at work.
I'm in his bed with no pants on and he's just eating a sloppy joe
I think I'm just going to get a farm, a vibrater, and a lot of wine.
I woke up with eight different shoes in my bed what the hell happened last night
Randomize
