k, so I just picked a four leaf clover, then saw my dads penis. Lucky? I think not.
I'm going to rise like a phoenix out of the drunken, shameful ashes that were last weekend.
The savings from $3 shots still doesn't add up to plan-b
all they had in the fridge was rum and filled water balloons
They are providing beer and having a margarita machine. This cannot be passed up.
get back quick. that 17 year old who peed on your car wants to do shots.
Gotcha. Well, I'm puking and trying to keep down water from a mug that says "love the moment" around the rim. Not loving this particular moment.
Solid. Can't put a price on good times
You can and it's called a liver.
I gave him head in my cape. On the kitchen floor. Watching a show about bacon.
I seem to have forgotten that I am wearing a one piece bathing suit under my clothes
I also woke up on my floor. Naked. On a pile of clothes. With my head in the trash can. And a sheet over me.
if it looks like there's being an exorcism being performed you know your doing something right.
You're like a human soul vacuum cleaner.
Somehow my boobs came up in conversation AGAIN last night and I'm still not getting laid...
So adding to the list of things my boobs can do, sweeping with a broom is apparently a thing.
Randomize
