i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
he asked me out through an event invitation on facebook, the title read Romantic Dinner For 2
He was drunk at Denny's at 5 am saying how Dear John was the worst movie he has ever seen... eyes filled with tears.
I made the bartender pinky promise me there was still vodka in my drinks.
i don't care how ready and willing she is. she is where penises go to die
Look at my fb. It says single. That's the gospel.
She's in labor and I'm doing shots. Whose the real winner here?
Dashing through the vodka, in a tinder swiping rage, all the fuck boys get a no, laughing all the way.
you are the root of all my greats nights and my worsts decisions
its not even a love triangle. its a love square and it has come back to haunt me
Hey I just woke up in the back of a pickup truck parked at taco bell... Can u come get me?
We decided it was a good idea to go streaking through the campus. Everything was fine until the sprinklers turned on and we realized the keys were in his pocket.
duddde i wasn't even home last night and someone elses clothes are on my floor and there glow sticks everywhere?!
I think it’s appropriate to celebrate the start of mother’s day at the bar with the men that almost made me a mother
I threw up soo much that I started crying. Then his grandma randomly came in and started rubbing my back...
Randomize
