Are you trying to threaten my boobs?
I'm trapped in whichever ring of hell is populated by inbred yokels and type 2 diabetes.
i just woke up to seventeen texts from you saying all the things you would have done for a french fry.
You realize we can hear you jacking off in your room, right?
I like it rough
Needless to say they were not happy to find out that we braided their hair together, when one of them woke up needing to puke bad
I just look at my butt and see so much potential.
I changed his name in my phone to "Irrelevant" last night. Not changing it back.
Yeeah, I think a threesome is one of those wedding presents you can't register for at Bed Bath And Beyond..
Let's put it this way, there's not many girls I wouldn't let sit on my face
I just found out my younger brother has me saved in his contacts as "Womb Primer" and I don't know what to do with this information
so third time im replacing the batteries on my vibrator in 2 months #sosingle....on another note though, black beauty is raring to go
After we'd both come, we started writing a book about dragons. Woke up this morning to a full English breakfast. Can't thank you enough for introducing us
Remembering you have vodka in the freezer gives the same surge of happiness as finding 20 bucks in a coat pocket.
So, is Canada considered an excessive distance to go for a booty call? Asking for a friend...
I'm sorry I walked in on you guys, but all I heard from outside was her screaming "Dive, dive!". Sex was my last guess for what was going on in there.
Randomize
