the bus pole looks like a man who feels guiltyty about something
Sarah, plain, and tall I adore you
yo im tryna cop a beej tonight
Oh my god he is having a sentimental moment right now.
He just sent me like a really heartfelt confession of love in which he ended with "make the apt, I'll hold your hand while you get your clit pierced."
i woke up to find out i googled the Twilight Eclipse trailer. so either drunk me doesn't know that i'm straight, or sober me doesn't know that i'm gay
I'm being fed tequila grapes by a girl on stilts...
But today feels so special with katie getting herpes and me cleaning my room. Good things are happening.
it was good sex until i became a rubber doll and he became a jack hammer, so i guess overall it was good
Now I know he's not trying to fuck me. He took me to lunch at White Castle.
She had a belly button piercing in the shape of a cross. Talk about mixed messages.
We were ushered out of Medieval Times by a squire for making out in the torture chamber. Children were present.
I just got a lecture from your coked out sister about the monetary value of Dothraki hair braids. Take her home.
Go have sex with him right now! Drunk sex is the best sex.
I know but these gold fish are so much better
I'm laying in my bed in the fetal position with a bag of frozen peas on my head and the bathroom trashcan next to me. Fucking tequila.
I’m the skeleton in his closet, but I only come out on Tuesday and Thursday afternoon and when his wife is out of town
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