hey this is lauren, i have to type for jon because he's convinced the tongs he's holding are his real hands
I am drunk as shit eating pancakes. I am not the person to call.
The panties match.
I'll be right there.
Interesting preview of what next year will be like. Side note, missing a chunk of flesh from my middle finger.
Sometimes I look at the people in school that are obviously very diligent and on top of their studies, and then I wonder why they don't smoke weed.
I'm sports announcer narrating myself making a sandwich. Your weed wins.
THIS ISN'T WORKING THIS IS THE DRUNK LEADING THE DRUNK
My dad, when he got home and saw me loading a bowl in the living room: "We have TWO beautiful balconies to get high on and you pick the couch?!"
I was angry that a college kid had a new Audi
so I peed on it
I can't hang out tomorrow. A boy wants to feed me ice cream and touch my boobs. Priorities.
I don't know man. She said my cock made her promises my heart couldn't fulfill.
Dude, who WASN'T thinking of motorboating her?
I can guarantee he will smoke me out and I won't feel bad about it because he gets to touch my butt.
One of my nipples looks nothing like the other...i don't know how this happened
Only you would make Mario Party a contact sport.
And you owe me a new pair of switch controllers.
Randomize