Seriously, stop being so datable w your movie/song prefs
i miss you and i wish you were peeing between my legs right now. in a platonic way
I feel like Captain Hook just gave me a pap smear.
So I pulled my t-shirt down, pushed my boobs up and marched right into that church!
i just bought weed at the top of a mountain, best decision of our lives to go to school in colorado.
I went out in the middle of the night to smoke my weed.. Didn't realize my dad was sitting on the patio doing the exact same thing..
How can he have such a manly penis and baby hands?!
Haha I will however wear glass and and draw a lightning bolt scar if you want to have sex that way, and that can be the only time you can call me Harry.
There comes a time where you just have to sit back and watch the drunken idiots pee on each other
he told me while inside me and mid thrust that he's dreamed of that moment since high school... awkward
He came over to use the microwave, said he needed to heat up some urine.
We just saw two bitche in pink capris jazzercising down the road. On Thanksgiving.
An orgasm and grocery shopping is the appropriate start to every Monday.
How drunk you think somebody has to be, that they think that putting out a profile pic like that can be even a slightly good idea?
I opened the bathroom door and the starting point gaurd was eating out my art history professor
Randomize
