after drinking 6 jumbo margaritas he then proceeded to tell the entire restaurant that he was going to "bust a load in me" when we got home....how do you think the rest of my night went?
He said they were doing a skit in class apparently someone else is dressed like a horse. Ive never felt more proned to skipping class than now
I was working er so they smashed a vodka bottle over dan's head so they'd have an excuse to visit
There comes a time in every girls life when she must use her boobs for good instead of evil.
Your pregnant arnt you
she literally hasn't taken the mardi gras beads off in three days. she showered in them. TWICE.
What can I say, your life is charmed. I'm on the couch trying to decide whether or not to puke again.
He called it restless penis syndrome. I call it cheating.
Dude, you can't even imagine the trip, I actually thought that there were Care Bears sitting next to me at the bar, I'm pretty sure I started hitting on the pink one.
I texted him 3 days ago he said he was pre gaming for the Super Bowl today he just text" gtomajg kaka hee 48!!!"
Ya. My thumbs are those buffalo's, but my legs are spirits and my torso is that Indian guys and my head is the eagle
Trust no bitch in laser tag. Not a single one.
i liked you for your lack of ambition and abundance of weed
Was banging my ex last night when his roommate walked in... We kept going. #goaheadandwatch
I think he has some internal "man stuff" that keeps getting in the way.
Like alcoholism and general douchbagary.
I went to Christian school in the 90s. I can finger blast anything, but dignity.
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