we ike ciroccccc we love patroneeeee shost shothosthsothosthostsssss veryboyddddyyyy
go home
I am so stoned and my professor is handing out candy. I love Halloween.
I want to give my boyfriend great head for his birthday...can i practice on you?
The vibrator you gave me is probably the one thing I will never give up if we got robbed at gunpoint
I don't know if it's the amount i drank last night or the number of taylor swift statuses on facebook but i feel like puking everywhere
I feel like shaving is just admitting i'm gonna do him, even though im still on the fence
shave. it'll take 10 min. Better safe than hairy.
Yeah like 200 white people came and they are playing that one Biggie Smalls song everyone knows.
We make out exclusively when we're drunk. That's like a relationship for me, right?
I finally got out of bed at 8:30pm and my little brother informed me that I had cereal stuck to my back. I'm going to smoke a cigarette and go back to sleep.
I really care about you, but im still gonna have to make you pay for dinner from the pain and suffering in my knees and vagina.
So shaving my butt whilst humming "be prepared" is now in my top five weirdest Friday night activities.
I'm pretty sure I asked his brother if he was gay while drunkenly falling to the ground.
I don't know what happened last night. But I just woke up in the high school boiler room
His phone started ringing when we were pulled over and he said 'hold on, this is most likely more important than you', proceeded to answer it and agree to work sunday, then hung up, looked at the cop and told him to continue.
Went to bed still wearing my bralette. When I was changing this morning, a Tootsie Roll fell out. I'm definitely living my best life.
Randomize
