god I wish I could record you sometimes, you're so neurotic
i just smoke outta the biggest bowl i've ever seen. the kid was totally compensating for a tiny weeenie.
It's hipsters with their motorcycle cop mustaches, moccasins, douchey irony, and department stores to supply their independent conformity
Something's gotta give!
is it bad if i hope guys are like edward cullen and can read my mind. i could be a whore in disguise.
On a side note I can sing drakes “best I ever had” so good you’d think I was on degrassi.
You have to stop making references to your extense knowledge of 13 year old girl television programming for me to believe you aren’t homo. The Bravo line-up was one thing, but seriously
"tonights gonna be a goodnight" was blasting at the club while i was screaming "NO ITS NOT" and crying. How do you think it went?
Sorry about your blender, your tiolet, your weed, and your dog...
I'm eager to hear this explaination.
Turns out shot glasses hold the perfect serving of sour patch kids....I still fail to see how not having any real glasses is an issue
I'm sick of being broke. I had vicodin and frosting for lunch.
Who the hell poured a whole pouch of Capri Sun down my throat last night?
Hey, i turned the toilet into a water fountain. Drink up.
I got drunken sympathy for the whales' plight last night and signed up to give $50 monthly to Greenpeace. Calling to cancel was worse than the hangover.
Hear that? That's the wail of a dying whale. Murderer.
I got my dick out in a gay bar for just one free shot. I didn't know I could be bought so cheap
I just sneezed glitter I JUST SNEEZED G LITTER I j u st SneeZED GLIT TER I DO NOT HAVE TIME FOR THIS AT ALL.
its 8 and I'm HUNGOVER!! how is that possible??
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