you blew your rape whistle in his face every time he got near a girl till he left the party...
Yessssssssss. I got taped to a couch last night apparently. I also thought i was close to scoring after talking to some chick about hard boiled eggs
You opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a wall last night.
Do you know how difficult it is to give head to someone who's imitating Forrest Gump?
All I remember is that the bartender wouldn't give me scissors cuz I was too drunk
I sent her 8 pictures of my dick in a baked potato. Not sure how I thought that would get me laid later.
At least I cut out the pieces of your hair where I braided gum into it last night. Thank me later.
i knew it was time to leave the bar when i caught myself doing karate dance moves with a married man.
Haga you didnt jbsii whee wu an therer
Party on wayne
I have a question: does pizza dipped in chili sound good or am I just really high?
I felt that there wouldn't be enough planB and forgiveness to go around
He rubbed aloe on my sunburn while I blew him... could he be anymore perfect?
Howd last night go?
well he stumbled in my parents door drunk and then asked my mom if she was my grandma. Id say as far as first impressions go, he failed miserably
Dude my roommate just peed out the window
Stacy lit a fart and burn half of the couch down before we can put the Flames out. Bring your truck.
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