Someone shit on the floor
On this egg donor form, it asks "In the past 5 years, have you had sex for drugs or money?" It only gives a yes or no option and no place to explain myself. What do I do?
Just bought a german beer stein with tuition cash. no regrets
He suggested abortion before I finished the sentence. That was my plan too, but now I feel like should keep it just to prove how big of a dick he is.
Broke up w/ my married coworker...work is gonna get weird.
Just put a dog collar on someone's child.....was a great hit with everyone but his mom.......I think she hates me. I'm okay.with that
Lmao the neighbor heard yall last night She wanted me to tell you way to finish strong
My grandmother cheats at beer pong and has been rubbing her tainted victory in my face for an hour now.
An we can hold bottles of vodka in our hands singing yo ho a pirates life for me
My friends son got stung by a jellyfish over the weekend and we seriously stood there debating on whether or not we should pee on this toddler.
You what they say. One dick in the hand is better than two in the bush
It's entirely possible that I'm fucking yet another gay guy
Family trip though. I generally don't wheel too much ass with the fam in tow. Despite the fact my parents would be pleased if I did.
VIVE LA RESISTANCE
Oh god, what now?
Hahaha. I'm so high, this is gonna be so intense. Even the DVD menu scared the shit out of me.
Randomize
