there hasn't been a girl guy ratio this good since a guy jumped on one of the Titanic life rafts
Umm went to talk to a client ended up seeing his semi erect penis. This is my life.
Holy fuck. She looks like Vin Diesel's stuntman
i feel like even strangers are annoyed with me because of how drunk i was last night
what do 4 police cars, 1 ambulence, and 2 fire truycks have in common?.... My driveway
Well I say she's a whore. All four of her kids have different last names.
BUT, one is Johnson and the other is Johnston. She gets some credit for that
hey, do you know how many packets of jello it takes to turn a handle of vodka into slutty girls?
you inspire me to be a worse person
I wanna throw up and cum in that order
Dude, so the police showed up at my house with my wallet told me they found it in the church fountain then handed me a pamphlet on AA saying it was from the pastor. What happend?
No just a slight sexual miscommunication which led to a little (lot) vomiting by one party and a bruised sternum on the other party involved.
I can't even make a guess how that goes.
Then he unzipped his pants and whispers, " oohhh, look out!"
He put his burrito in the bag with his dildo.
If one more person says Merry Christmas to me I’m going to take a pen out of my pocketbook and stab them in the eye
Really dude? drunk texts at 9 in the morning? its wednesday
Randomize
