3:47a: I take it you're not on your way over
You finger a girl once and she thinks she loves you. I'm going back to boys. Lesbians are needy.
sorry for covering your dog in whipped cream. his bark made it sound like he wanted it.
To justify your stumbling you just kept yelling 'it's the boat, not the drinks' We hadn't even left the dock yet....
Btw sorry for throwing that bag of ice at your face lastnight....
I mostly enjoyed dancing with him because his boner was scratching my bug bites.
I told him that he was essentially a very life-like dildo with a person attached so he needed to stop having feelings because it was getting annoying. He agreed.
Phone sex soon? I mean date. Sex date. Date phone.
all 3? possibly?
I think I'm up to the challenge.
The sound of my own breathing is making my head throb. That hungover.
If you got tons of KY ads on HuluPlus, it's because I hit "relevant" every time.
is it wrong to hook up with someone at a memorial drum circle
I can't believe you're forcing me to handle this hangover sober
Sorry for trying to wake you up by slapping your ass with a fruit 2 go.
It got to the point where I was so drunk, playing rock paper scissors as a drinking game seemed like a good idea.
oh, he’s out of jail btw. as of about 6pm. one of his customers bonded him out apparently lol
Like he really got a coke fiend to bond him out?
Randomize
