no, I didn't make it. Instead, i watched VH1 for... 13 hours? I use the question mark because I was using Flavor Flav's clocks to tell time after the first 3 hours.
I think the boy in my gender studies class cried when 90% of the girls said they had faked an orgasm
Now he's lighting his socks on fire
don't forget friday is see who can get the most free drinks at the gay bar contest. winner gets $50
I was thrown in the air atleast 3 times by baby jesus
You crawled through a doggy door 5 times for a shot if cheap vodka.
the only thing you and i have in common is the we like weed and looking at my naked body.
Because guys aren't supposed to cry. Especially when it's over a dude singing a Christmas carol.
I still don't like him. I'm also filled with alcohol, so I'll revisit the statement in the morning.
I owe you an apology, I was appointed captain of this sexy fuckship and I fell asleep at the helm.
im too broke to be in a relationship this close to the holidays
I may have unintentionally punched your cat twice but he's an asshole anyway.
Who's phone is in my pants and why did I wake up clutching a handle of vlad?
That's good. So do you know why there is a giant pile of old tires in the laundry room and kitchen?
Well we knew you needed some tires, found someone on the way home who was giving them away and took them all. Has to be 4 in there you can use.
When the nurses wouldn't let him smoke in the hospital he decided to just roll around on the floor.
Randomize
