New drinking game: drink every time the guy whose room we are in is creepy
enjoy the hospital
I decided that not getting a job after college is gods way of telling me I will make a great housewife
adderall just fell out of my nose in class. guy next to me just nodded.
so after the bed broke we walked out of the room to a standing ovation
How's your Sunday morning ritual of shitting and throwing up at the same time going?
grown man stumbling drunk down green street wearing nothing but a hot dog costume and crying. its not even noon yet.
My rats are drinking wine. I am drinking with rats. God i am so alone.
I think i lit a firework with a joint. happy birthday, america?
Beer pong consisted of me throwing a ball at the wall and then falling over because moving my arm made me dizzy. I think our team lost.
It's one of those nights that you wish to god someone would booty call you, and then realize you'll just be stuck here with your poptart...
he fell asleep like an hour after we got to the beach, he deserved that penis shaped sunburn.
Idk I've been drinking all day and they're having me blow shit up. Like dont let the drunk chick play with fire and explosives. Common sense 101. I will fuck something up
I like the fact that you've for some reason taken my penis into protective custody
Judging by the progress I've made since I woke up (none) I'm thinking this hangover may keep me in bed.
Let's just face it you're going to have an arrangement with your future wife your fuck me on Thursdays
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