Wow that girl who lives a couple houses down is going out wearing butterfly wings a skirt and fishnets
did you seriously just ask me if there is such thing as a sophisticated batman shirt?
i jus got home and totaly forgot i had nut all over the back of my shirt
..im mad u rememberd about that
I did the seizure Bad Romance dance again last night, didn't I?
you were really good actually. your skill is increasing over time
I have six drafts of messages to you that just say "blood" and I have no idea where they came from.
Just whatever you do please don't lick his face again.
I think I'm dead. Why did I think it was a good idea to hang from the banister while someone poured liquor into my mouth?
I just puked so hard I pissed myself. Outta my ass. I just won hangover of the century.
whenever he tweets that he wants to get blackout it's like a neon sign for "i want to bang you tonight"
They're showing aladdin at the bar my birthday is complete
I'm not sure if it was the 11 shots or your naturally vibrant personality but I recall you being quite noisy that evening
Met Dan at the park for lunch and the guy parked next to us was getting a BJ the entire time. Way to make me feel like an inadequate girlfriend, random park skank. All Dan got was a double cheeseburger and a large iced tea...
I miss forts and drugs that made me believe in unicorns...
I'm glad you enjoyed the night but why were you calling me "daddy"?
i just got drunk and created an entire Dr Seuss unit for my first graders.
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