Upon hearing of his newfound access to every orifice... even ones he just made up... the Grinch's penis grew three sizes that day.
WORST DINGLEBERRY EVER
He felt like a one man threesome
I think your going to be the cause of an awesome death
New major. Tourism Management. I dont know what it is but it sounds like something all the stupid slutty failed business management majors do.
I hope he didn't notice that my shirt was inside out when I told him I didn't have sex with the guy. Kind of a dead giveaway.
I found her in the trunk, smoking a cigarette, saying every girl should know how to get out of their trunk
Just saw two dudes run across the street carrying a mini keg and a scaled model of the empire state building. Missed this town
It happened to me once. But i washed off in a duck pond and walked home naked.
Tequila ran out around 11 so she let them do body shots of chips and guacamole instead
One day I'll learn not to get drunk on a plane. Today is not that day.
I forgot wine drunk hurts
He chose me to be his birthday sex..theres a lot of pressure riding on this bang
Of fucking course I get my period on Valentine's Day...
My liver is going to reject life during Greek Week
How many liver transplants can a person have? Bc you may need a couple
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