Di me a solid and hit me with your car.
the best thing about tacos is after you shit them all out you feel like to have room for your dignity to come back
Charles is a playa. And I don't mean the spanish word for beach.
We learned about herpes today in bio. I might as well have given the lecture
You never realize how many sex toys you have until you have to strategically hide them while moving out of your dorm.
Just stole a pregnancy test from Wegmans because I didn't want to pay 13 dollars to find out my life is over.
Even though he is humpbacked he is really good in bed.
Would it be a dick move to report the suite next-door for a noise violation? They're singing Bad Romance off-key and I'm not sure if I can allow that.
He told me his penis would be a "Sad Panda" if I didn't give it a ride through the jungle.
Woaahhhh there! We are JUST drunk fucking. Don't call me "baby".
I don't think there was a moment this weekend where grey goose did not course through my veins
I would think I was a stalker too if I wasn't myself
Some guy is here using a taser on people. I'm up next
all I remember the next morning was crawling through the doggy door and finding my underwear in my purse
He was wearing a diaper to the party. I've never felt like such a creep in my life.
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