i've already watched her fall off the steps, walk up on our porch and try to dance with the dog, and stumble across the street to stand outside the neighbors window...is it taking it too far to watch this rando girl and some guy have sex behind our parking lot now?
He passed out so we kept throwing water on him, he got excited and asked if we were at the wave pool.
I will not ride trays down a flight of stairs topless and drunk....
I think I'm drunk. That wine was old. I found it behind the water heater next to the mouse poison.
I can't feel my brain.
So update from last night: I made friends with a coke dealer, I tore the card scanner off the wall of my dorm, and I passed out on our bathroom counter with my head in the sink.
I don't think she can come out, she went too hard in the Intro to Theater Drinking Game at 2:30
Dan I was a mess I made out with a 40 yr old who gave me a wad of cash for Christmas. Like wtf
I spent half an hours grinding with a drunk Harry Potter cosplayer at the con rave. Pretty sure I felt his wand.
Sorry about the picture of wills balls via snapchat last night btw
i fell out of the car and didnt spill my drink. come overrrr
truly a win in your book
I found her outside drinking steak sauce out of the bottle.
Literally sucked a dick for ten seconds before I said to myself, this tiny ass penis isn't worth it. My night last night
Sorry you saw me having sex with your brother on the beach
For some reason drunk me always leaves sober me a banana in the morning.
Who brings a stripper to breakfast at the dining hall? What was the plan? Impress her with his meal plan?
Randomize
