Still drunk and leading the team through the 9am sales meeting. I'm pretty sure this is why there aren't more 26year-olds in management.
No offense but you kinda look like a Jack Johnson fan in that pic
It's impossible to flirt with the bank tellers because they see how broke I am.
i convinced her i was a yoga teacher by showing her some warm-ups my high school track coach made up
Last night I dreamed I was having gay sex in prison. That's the last time we go to theme night at the club.
the liquor store owner came out from behind the counter and kissed my cheek when he saw that i am back for fall semester
Last night in my drunkenness I bought hurricane supplies which included a jug of wine and a bouquet of flowers. Apparently I'm going to woo Irene.
We sang "Whole New World" in harmony and he spun me around. You may now barf from the cuteness.
So both cops helped talk her into coming back into the bar and doing a shot with me. The main argument being, "a bar is no place to be sober!"
So they just told me that while I was being loaded into the ambulance the cop told them if they were good friends they'd post it on Facebook...
The subtweets were good enough
I think we need to stage a munchie intervention for Ben. I just watched him use a tortilla as a potholder to dump water out of his ramen.
You know your night is done when the police confiscate your bra at high school basketball game
Before consuming her Waffle House she did a few deep breaths and cleared the table to "prepare herself for this"
If they start to date again I refuse to help her sext him. Helping my mom sext my dad is where I draw the line.
So I figured out why that guy from Tinder stopped messaging me back. He got married.
Randomize
