i don't think you understand, blowjobs are like flowers for guys.
You just projectile vomited on my dad across the table at waffle house.
Do you think he can smell the vodka?
idk if you're aware of this...but we could potentially have the greatest hate sex...ever.
Yeah apparently i got lonely because everyone was hooking up so i took matters into my own hands. I woke up on the floor spooning a vaccuum cleaner, a mop, 40 paper cups, and industrial grade detergent.
So last week was the 4th time a girl cried after sex. I'm seriously doing something wrong
When boys buy condoms it makes me feel proud of their mothers for doing a good job
I was just reelected president of justgotlaidsylvania
Dating Detox Day 5: had to go out and buy new batteries. this may be harder than I thought
it was good sex until i became a rubber doll and he became a jack hammer, so i guess overall it was good
I am both excited and frightened by the fact that this much everclear is legal here. Best vacation ever.
I am disappointed by everyone's lack of ability to dance on a stripper pole:(
My dream of watching a live dick sword fight might never be realized now. Currently sobbing, shots to follow
I forgot my backup drink is supposed to be pedialyte and vodka. Add in the shit I'm losing as I drink. Win-Win right?
if it wasn’t 100% before, it is now that i will most definitely die a quesadilla related death
He offered me free drinks all night if I could beat him in a drinking race. I blacked out after that but just found his credit card in my bra so there's that.
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