ok so I'm texting you now like I promised instead of drunktexting aaron and telling him how badly I want his cock tonight. aren't you proud?
this is Aaron, hi
I kept pulling the $1 bills off the stage and told everyone "no no no she has to work for this money"
Idea for the cake. Joints for candles. Do it.
My grandpa is giving me detailed instructions on how to fight a second floor bedroom fire from a ladder on the out side. Just in case
i woke up and saw you were brushing his hair naked. I can never pass out around you, man.
God I love incriminating evidence...wonder what the statue of limitations is on shitting on someones driveway
It seems that only way I've actually improved myself after 2 years of writing for the school newspaper is that I've mastered the art of descriptive words to improve my sexting skills
On Wednesday I'm putting wine in a water bottle and crashing Margaret thatchers funeral
Ill go to bed but tamed sharks isnt so much of a bad idea. Not for riding
Watching boy meets world, drinking left over pink panty droppers and coloring in a my little pony coloring book. This is my Monday night
it's gotten to the point where I just look in my closet, think, "which article of clothing behaves most like a towel?" and then just go with that
Oh my god, it's like someone broke the off button in my butthole
Threesomes are not as fun as you'd think. I left with a black eye and I'm not sure who's to blame.
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns
Just landed in Atlanta. Still drunk. I can't feel my face
Randomize
