i didn't know you could wash puke off of bras with a dishwasher.
you said you get the best orgasms off Pez dispensers. how do you think he felt????
We tried to play doctor all sexually then he was taking down my 'symptoms' I said I needed to puke he thought it was part of the game
Its a three day weekend with Valentines day thrown in... Im obligated to get drunk
Friday was tragic. I was naked on top of him and he didn't have a condom. Oh and he had an Obama poster on the wall in front of his bed so our president was staring down at me while I was naked. I felt sorta bad.
You should've just screamed yes we can!
I HATE DRINKING WITH JUST GIRLS, ITS 1030 THEYRE ALL HAMMERED AND TALKING ABOUT HOW AWESOME THEIR SHOES ARE!!!!!!!
i love being in ibiza. their hotels are much more receptive to walking around naked in the lobby than our american ones.
My rats are drinking wine. I am drinking with rats. God i am so alone.
Nope we're in the ER. He lit himself on fire trying to impress another girl with magic tricks.
There is literally a guy in my class with a gallon of water and a trophy.
We need to play Chardee MacDennis. Contact me when you have an available date. This is not a question.
Looking through my moms phone and find a pic if a dick. Scarred for life.
Also day 6: dick is healed and ready to go back to work.
I worked all year for this tax return. I deserve to get my nipples pierced.
Yeahh. im on the phone with him drunk. he told me he found a pigeon in a cardboard box and named it quincy...
Randomize
