Its a bunch of hippies dancing in front of a stobe light. For ten dollars I could have gone to the strip club and at least had a lap dance
I woke up under a table, with a huge Mexican sombrero, a box of 120 doughnuts and a bloody nose. It all screams success.
Im drunk and they're making me play quiet game. Im scared. Baptists are here
and my loofah got caught on my nipple ring in the shower today. what an awful experience.
she was pretty happy for someone in the middle of a herpes outbreak, how was i supposed to know?
After we were done the second time she turned to me and called me a Hardcore Armadillo. Also, her O face involves crossed eyes. You tell me.
Oh, and i love you too. Im just a selfish dick who had to talk about myself first
I CAME HOME WITH MY NIPPLES PEIRCED! WE WERE CAMPING. IN THE MOUNTIANS. I DONT EVEN REMEMBER IT AT ALL.
I'm turning twenty & the only honorable way to exit my teens is by slapping the fuck outta the bag. You better be in.
So I just stole my deans keys to break into the dining hall to get coco puffs. I shouldn't have gone to this meeting stoned.
How's the hangover?
I've been begging my dog to mercy kill me for over an hour. He has this look like he might do it, you know, as my best friend should.
I mentioned the porn thing he mentioned a brother it all kinda just came together
According to the arrest report, I shouted "no, YOU put some pants on" at the cop. Downhill from there.
Lol I'm not having group sex with you, that apron is fuckin awesome tho
I just saw a cat, if i ate those mushrooms 15 minutes earlier i wouldn't have made it to the bar
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