She's just bitter because she lost all the weight only to discover she doesn't have a pretty face after all.
Drunk and had dance off with 8 year old. Lost. Still drinking
My eyes got the double whammy. Once with pepperspray from the riot the other with cum. Both of which i did nothing to deserve.
Just checked my bank account while shitting blood. Neither action felt good when I was done.
He probably smells like baby powder and sexual identity crisis.
As I was climbing out of the pool he slapped my ass and said 'stay golden', i don't know why but it felt right.
And at least you didn't have a dinner of Ranch Pringles and Double Stuff Oreos. I forgot that part of being single.
Just saw 1 guy dressed as a cow and another dressed as a shrimp dancing on the side of the road. We're turning around I NEED to dance with them.
Daquari drive throughs 24 hours a day. LORD HAVE MERCY
I drove two hours just to throw up on myself today at the beach. My family saw the whole thing and my younger cousin cried
somehow this went from sexting to explaining my eating disorder.
Dude, I traded weed for crunch berries. Happy Thursday.
she just kept pointing at the cows and calling them field penguins
sorry about your sharpie. alex wanted to shave the left side of his body so he had me draw a line over him with a ruler
thanks for the bj man. also make sure you close the gate behind you. the chickens are out.
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