Why are there maracas in the dishwasher?
Was this before, or after you took my brand new bag of shredded cheese, and "Made it rain"?
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
After you vomited on the patrol car, you thanked the officer for helping you up off the ground. I don't think you realized you were being arrested.
I'm lying here drinking water from a shot glass..moving is not an option right now
Nothing says thanksgiving like acid flashbacks
I. recorded a message of me yelling at myself to "get up out of that bed" and set it an alarm. REALLY loud
I was looking at our sex bingo and pretty much every single row or column has at least one kind of person that is harder to find than all the rest
We've made things harder for ourselves
The struggle will be part of the fun
Her hookup left his underwear and shorts in the dorm last night... What he was wearing when he left, we may never know.
just got a call from a life insurance sellsperson and apparently our xany dealer referenced us. not cool thats breaking the 4th wall
I'm going to need a penis the size of a bat
wtf guys I thought we agreed on no more knives. So much for not destroying the house
dude if looks could fuck you two would've been naked in front of everybody
day drinking didnt prepare me for this..
You know he wants it bad when he starts going door to door for condoms.
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