I just had the ultimate walk of shame. I'm barefoot, in his gym short with vomit in my hair and I walked half a mile through campus. At noon. Thanks for picking up ur phone
Do the low cut shirt test. If he stares at your tits even in front of your brother, he's down.
just took my birth control pill with a shamrock shake. happy st. patrick's day
you just kept yelling "siddle that plaza" til the cab driver said it back...
She offered to massage my back by hitting it with a sparkly purple double dildo... Bi chicks can get creepy
Oh and no more ball pics to my family. Got in a little trouble over that. They have no sense of humor.
my roommate had a few special brownies and wrapped my purse and one of my shoes and left them under the tree for me...
Dinner at my parents is vodka, lemonade, cheese ad crackers. Why would I leave?
So what are you going to be for halloween?
A woman sitting on her couch watching Hocus Pocus.
Sure go ahead and start this 'business' with him...just don't come crying to me when you have to fake your own death in two years
I'm crying and shaving my Bronco playoff beard
The perfect man would keep a whisky sour in my hand and give me endless sex. I really don't think that's too much to ask for.
Thursday is not a good day to become a felon... It's bingo night
I walked out ot my car in the morning thinking there was a sandwich I left there from yesterday. Then later that day I was checking the mail and saw the other side of my car :/
It concerns me the most that u were potentially going to eat a day old car sandwich.
Why do all my exes just become Tom Hanks in Castaway?
That's a fantastic question. And an odd set of criteria to meet if wanting to date you.
Randomize
