Dual....:-)
i never knew gatorade would taste just as good on the way back up
I just woke up and realized I puked in my boxers WTF.
You stay classy.
The worst part was I forgot until I tried to put them on.
Say something about gay babies.
Remind me to tell you the Scottish bar story tomorrow
Remind me to tell you it was a shitty story when you're done telling it tomorrow
you're like the Neil Armstrong of terrible hookups, you are a pioneer
Girls should come with a carfax report
I got my period while he was fingering me , I knew it because I never get that wet.
Did u at least say sorry?
Why do you think it's a no-pants party?
Invite says "dress to impress". Her fault for leaving it open to interpretation.
I don't know. Something about answering "what did you do on Sunday?" Seems odd when the reply is, painted, went to the grocery store, put a restraint device on my bed.
So ive come to the realization that my affinity for tattooed guys makes me the literal definition of tit for tat
How do you say, "I love you, but i prefer sex with someone else." in a good way? Ponder that over a jack and coke and get back to me.
I am just High Enough to train A-Team of bodybuilding squirrels MMA techniques to tear you asunder. And it's not that I want to is just don't you make me do it!
Can you get an STD by sharing underwear? Walk of shamed home and realized I was wearing someone else’s panties
No one knows. This doesn’t happen to normal people.
All I want right now is a waffle and some fried chicken and a penis.
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