when I'm not with you everything just looks like crayon scribble
I'm calling you out on twitter if you don't come over right now.
I hope mine doesn't look like that
i'm in the guys across the halls apartment. i think 7 MIP guy wants me. he just got a medical marijuana card. might be worth it.
you did pass out in the elevator last night, so it could be motion sickness
I could write a book on how to barely get by in community college. I just took an online quiz on my phone, at the bar, 6 minutes before it was due.
She was mid-sentence and then BOOM the hammock broke off the tree. I about pissed myself. Hot Sprite and Vodka make the world go round.
This guy just tried to hit on me on facebook. His most recent listed education is middle school. This is my life.
if i'm ever face-down on the ground puking again, promise me you won't try to braid my hair?
I wanna just rip ass and see his reaction but i bet itd be better to shatter that illusion when hes drunk
Like real life can suck my metaphorical dick right now.
'TWAS BUT A GLORIOUS SIGHT. BITCHES.
Showed up to family party blacked out and in a turkey costume. I'd say thanksgiving was a success.
Let's hurry up so I can puke at home instead of my van
Need to find a Santa hat to fit my penis, he deserves to be festive too.
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