Got to see someone fall down the stairs while holding hot coffee and a folder full of papers. Best Monday ever.
the cop then proceeds to point out the "proud parent of a dare graduate" bumper sticker and say well i guess it's time to take that off
Exactly. wat kind of friend would i be if i even pretended to give a shit about ur problems
They were greeting people getting off the 48 with green beers and cheers. The one day I decide not to take the bus home...
You destroyed the landscape if my vagina FOREVER.
I imagine her to be like a 19th century explorer/adventurer with different boys' hearts on her wall like animal heads
Like Teddy Roosevelt
Is it too early to say this year has been a blur?
You were a path of destruction, you started with eating half the cake, proceeded by throwing the rest in the sink and dumping water all over it while laughing... then throwing the drunk helmet across the room yelling that you didnt want to wear it... i'd say it was a successful birthday.
I stuck my fake eyelashes to his balls after he passed out.
The neighbor just yelled bring me back that big red alien penis.
The girl neighbor.
Also I'm eating leftovers with a pair of bullet removal forceps (unused) because I don't have a fork.
You brought string cheese to the strip club
Sorry I twat blocked you earlier I didn't know Sam was over. But, my house my rules, I don't have to knock before I enter. I did see naked butts and smelt "Sex Stank" in the air, we're going to have to set some ground rules when I get home. Hugs and kisses..Mom
Of course you try to burn the house down on the one night we take down the smoke alarm so we can use the fog machine more
Apparently my hair turned out really good because I got my butthole licked by a stranger last night
Randomize
