Asian chick on skype stripping for me. Hold on give few min
Dudes got a Polo tattoo. I don't care if he has a yacht I can't handle that level of gay.
How many 'remember name' entries is it inappropriate to have in one's cell phone?
Just checked my bank account while shitting blood. Neither action felt good when I was done.
Apparently you get kicked out of gay bars if they catch you putting the entire free condom bowl in your purse.
Tell me you didn't really piss in the hookah.
Will the fact that I have 4 boob hickies add to or take away from tonight's outfit?
You didn't hold all these dicks to become a party planner!
Also, I'm going to TRY and be casual this weekend, but really, we need to be serious about equally dividing our time between party and bullshit.
That's just weird. That doesn't make sense sexually at all. I mean, you might as well tape a pen to the tip and try and write your name while you're at it.
at crossfit today a guy shit his pants while deadlifting 405 lbs. coach made fun of him then congratulated him on his new personal record.
Hopefully this dress says "let me rent your house" and not "let me suck your dick for money"
TOPLESS DRIVE THRU! I have no money and my dignity is at an all time low.
So by "wait for me" do you think he meant "Don't have sex with random dentists?"
Conference sex doesn't count if the dentist doesn't know your name.
I'm hammerd and his penis is still the size of a giraffe's neck
Randomize
