Is it bad everytime a fat person orders fraps I want to tell them to slow their rolls
He left a cum stain in the shape of a heart on my sheets.
He's like the Bob Ross of love stains.
it's like her boobs came off with her bra
There are bud lights poping out of the zipper of my overnight bag and my dildo almost fell out in the elevator. not professional
Should we pre-order food to the ER for cinco de mayo?
I can't tell which way is up. Too many corners around his house too. An arbitary assimilation of edges.
Christ, I swear you are the high man's Dr. Seuss.
Bad news: I found out that girl you want has a boyfriend. Good news: she'll probably cheat on him with you. Better news: after seeing the way she treats him, that's the most interaction you're going to want with her anyway. Trust me.
sriracha body shots, that's gonna be a thing
it's like you just said "i want you to suffer"
So I'm not dead, but close call. I think I can handle one more bar.
The cat be actin like a 2:30 am poop is the time to tell me all about her thoughts and fears in life. No bitch, this is definitely alone time.
You're going to be mad because I got baked, but not that mad because I'm bringing home kfc.
Idk my boobs are big but i dont think theyre hide a flask in them big..
Stop it. You know what r&b does to my body
Someone explain to me why I woke up to find a stolen shopping cart in my room...
Dude, don't beat around the bush. We're fucked and you know it.
Randomize
