Yeah and Nick is shooting his loaded 9mm in his backyard.
It was like his mom forgot to breastfeed him and he was making up for lost time.
i wish there were pregnant emoticons
Kinda wish I banged him. I need the exercise.
she was mad because i didn't remember our fuckaversary. fuck buddies are getting too demanding..
You were doing karaoke. Then you screamed "SHOUTOUT TO ADAM LAMBERT" and started making out with the very surprised looking guy next to you.
Well as our DD it was my responsibility to get us home safely. If that meant strapping you down to the backseat using all 3 seatbelts then so be it.
Why were you staring at her like that over breakfast?
Because I was eating with a spoon to remind her that she threw up on my hand while she was MAKING me spoon with her after our drunk sex. She got it. Don't worry.
It's basically the same plan, only step one gets revised to "look hot enough that he forgets I fucked his roommate"
I think a kid would responsible me up
you should be awarded for your promiscuity.
i really should.
There are so many things that would come back to haunt me if I ran for President someday.
like that video of you mad stoned vomiting in the bdubs parking lot after going to a pizza buffet screaming how you needed to make room for froyo
Wat
Dude, I have everything I need for meth here.
YOU ARE NOT ALLOWED TO MAKE METH IN OUR APARTMENT.
He walked in wearing nothing but a WWF belt and yelled "THE CHAMP... IS... HEEERE!!!"
he rolled over in the morning and told me happy valentines day. i don't even know his first name.
Randomize
