what do you think about when you wanna get rid of a boner?
dying kittens.
HOLD UP I think she only has eight fingers...
I just heard an old guy ask the chick he was with if she wanted to try ass to mouth...
thanks for that.
I'm seriously gonna die surrounded by a million cats and an unbroken hymen
so why are there three stressed gay men and a bowl of vomit in the smoke room?
At one point you starting double fisting oreos in your mouth confused about how you got out of the car
cassie wtf are you alive??! no one has seen you for like seven hours whereeee did you go
IS IT POSSIBLE FOR A GUY TO NOT HAVE BALLS
Heb just said, and I quote, "let's go to Who's On Third and fuck a fishbowl with our mouths. I am going to fuck this van." and then he humped a van.
I'm watching my cat lick a used condom wrapper on my nightstand and I'm too hungover to move and do anything about it. Tequila Tuesdays can not be a thing.
Might as well permanently tattoo lush somewhere on my body and show it to people when I decide to drink so they won't serve me.
She's really sweet and cute, but when she drinks, she becomes way too proud of her bush.
Oh my fucking god, I was conceived on the first date.
Went home with a guy last night with Taco Bell sauce in my hair and on my pants
hold on i need to sex proof my eyelashes. thank godd for waterproof mascara
Just looked at my bank statement. 9 out of 10 transactions on the first page were from 9 different bars. The 10th was for birth control pills at the pharmacy. I need to rethink my lifestyle.
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