when i say i joined a midget dating site why do u assume i was drunk
I just googled "semen solvent" and got nothing. there has to be something that will wash this shit off!
I see a marketing opportunity
Contrary to popular belief alot of woman do actually enjoy sucking cock.
do girls know yet that the best boners are in the morning?
she was talking to me but i could help but stare at the extremely long hairs on her boobs. then she says, "your looking at the hair on my boobs aren't you"
Nope it's a specific set of cards not like a normal ace, queen king thing....kinda like UNO, but instead of yelling UNO you get shitfaced
even after i explained my bobby knight costume the bartender still kicked me out for throwing the chair
I didn't think her British accent was real until I saw how fucked up her teeth were.
I'm going to sing sad and lonely Barbra Streisand songs at the top of my lungs if you don't get here soon
I peed my pants and am still dancing with guys at the club because I liked my outfit too much to change. Call the ratchet emergency
I WAS KIDDING ABOUT SLUTEMBER BUT ITS ACTUALLY HAPPENING
So i know i said I'm turning over a new leaf, but i met a guy with a dick piercing. I have to sleep with him. For science.
ugh, my whole family is going ape shit over my sister's pregnancy blog. I dont get it? Anyone can get knocked up! I had rebound sex with a new york ranger last night, now that is something to fucking blog about.
Is it unhealthy for me to do shots of pinnacle by myself in my apartment right now? Asking for a friend
What is ur current declared sexuality for my bingo board
Randomize
