GUESS WHAT I JUST LICKED
I feel like half our conversations start this way.
I smoked weed with pregnant girl. I'm going to hell.
I popped a zit on your vagina. Don't say I never loved you.
I don't care if the man pisses on teenage girls, he's enchanting.
Or maybe my penis is just the key to their locked boxes of crazy, and I unleash their wrath upon all of mankind just so I can get my nut off
I slept with an Israeli and a Palestinian in the same day. It feels wrong.
I came back and almost ran over two people passed out in my driveway I've never met before in my life
If I don't have hickies that last till tuesday, I didn't do this weekend right
There is no sno cone on earth better than alone naked time. Side note: text when you all are headed home.
She called it a palate cleanser. She and her friend dike it out once a year before returning to dick
Together or do they pick up? How far do they go? IS AN AUDIENCE PERMITTED? GODAMIT ANSWERS MAN!!!!!!
I think I pulled a muscle in my tongue.
sorry? thank you? I love you?
...and now I welcome the sweet embrace of death.
I wanna eat mushrooms and cuddle with a million dogs at once. I wanna know what heaven is like
My ex just brought my grandpa weed. Not sure how I feel about this.
Plan b and 5 hour enegery breakfast of a champion
Randomize
