i never realize how drunk i am until i start using people as human stripper poles
and when i screamed you came in my eye, i found out that everyone else in the room had only pretneded to be sleeping
I mean i might have to drop this class tomorrow. I just walked into a midterm
i'm almost done photoshopping my face on his wife. it's a done deal
That's because you're a slut. A slut fucking a fence.
Are you being sarcastic? I can't tell this time because you're in the hospital.
I try to help out whenever I can. Speaking of rough nights I woke up half naked on Brady's couch with bloody paper towels duct taped to my foot.
It is official. It's the year of doin married chicks. Similar to the year of virgins but without all the baggage.
Was that picture taken before or after I supposedly punched him in the face?
I need a vacation from myself..this is duely noted after I tried giving myself a concussion last night
In the 2nd smartest move of my day your ringtone for when you call is now the Space Jam theme.
I saw a spider on my bed and my first reaction was to throw my weed bag to safety
also I was promised more toga parties by popular media
We were on the beach when you spilled sand in the bottle and said "relax it's vodka, it'll disinfect itself"
I'm at the fucking ritz Carlton and I would leave here to cuddle with her. Not even fuck, just cuddle. What th hell is wrong with me?
I think it's called love, bro
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