best part, i was ridiculous and none of them were judging me bc they didn't want my vagina. it was like i was a pretty painting
Hey! Thanks for asking, but it didnt go well. He threw up in the car on the way to dinner. Blind dates arent for everyone.
we flagged you as soon as you tried to put the lime in the microwave to prove it was really a kiwi. again.
We fed your dog hot wings then gave it some Bud light to drink. You're right. Dogs are fun.
You need to stop blackout tweeting at him to have sex with you on the roof of your dorm. He doesn't even have a twitter.
Well the police had to intervene and I couldn't exactly feel my legs by the end of the night, but I'd say it was a successful Friday night.
i woke up to something itchy on my head. it was his mustache. he fell asleep face-plant style on the side of my head. WTF?
We made a bet that we had to talk like Yoda all night at the bars
Vodka Vensday. With a Russian accent... It counts.
Your favorite boobs are sending you seasons greetings
We will walk in fields of dick.
You seriously need to stop quoting those songs when i'm with my parents.
If anyone needs me I'll be in the bathtub, eating fast food and shooting straight vodka while I seriously evaluate my life choices and cry.
Found a trail of Taco Bell hot sauce packets through the garage to our back door and cheese in my bra. I'll say it was a successful Sunday Funday.
Turns out my mom didn't really want to know I was in a new dimension last night from smoking so much.
It's my birthday. I should be drinking mimosas in a top hat, not working.
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