You kept yelling that her vagina looked like a hatchet wound.
whats a positive sounding word for "exploit"?
homeboy just tried to sext with me at 8:30 in the morning while I was on a job interview...
so you did it...
obv...but still...it was inconsiderate.
You told them to let you give him stitches claiming you were a certified nurse because you've taken plant biology classes
Oh you have a half-brother? Why that's right up my alley! Let's cause family strife
Tearing families apart since 2011.
This is why I need to move out...so my naked vomit covered walk of shames to the bathroom are only witnessed by one other person who is equally as pathetic as me and the cat
I'd rather blow Nickelback than be told he gave me gonorrhea. I'd even post it on Facebook for all of the world to like, share, and judge me.
Leaving my wallet at work and not going out to drink tonight...SIGN FROM THE UNIVERSE.
You threw a handful of caps into a pitcher of Heineken and asked everyone if they wanted to go "bobbing for molly"
When my beach tent arrives , I strongly suggest quitting our jobs and becoming homeless beach drunks
I'm constantly crying, and now I start crying every time I masturbate which is a fun development.
Would it be weird if i sent him a "happy fuckiversary" text?
It was probably bad to sleep with someone just to pet his dog right?
i feel like doing his laundry was not included in the job description when we became fuck buddies.
I gave in, made out with her, and long story short, I'm giving hetero another try.
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