Also, i'm pretty sure i've had my birth control pill stuck in my throat since like...two pm. So i'll be practicing safe oral sex tonight.
they just started talking about wanting to bang stephanie tanner from full house
This unplanned pregnancy thing is really taking all the fun out of football season.
We got so high we made milksteak
Of all the things I am low enough to do, how could you even doubt if that was one of them?
he kept yelling THIS ISNT AMATEUR HOUR
These shoes are way too nice for a walk of shame. Its how I keep myself in line.
This is what you sent me from the other side of the pool, "Idk but thers a pool n l wanna get naked take off my trunks ill paddle with my dick"
The alcohol tastes like we did a beer run at the nail salon
HOW DID ALL OF US MISS THE OBVIOUS: I'LL SHAKE YOUR SPEARE
He stopped in the middle of us banging in order to check in for his Southwest flight.
Dude. I need you to practice dancing around in your banana hamock. Party boy style. I'll call later with details.
Love it. I wish you see me right now. I'm counting cash on my bed with no shirt on, beauty and the beast sound track on blast. Fucking creepin it up.
I've decided I will have no shame for the things I don't remember doing.
I need to get laid. Right now that freshman frat pledge & my Econ professor are the leading candidates
That’s quite a spread
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