Shaq going to Cleveland; Vince Carter to the Magic; Michael Jackson, Farrah Fawcett, and Ed McMahon die.... ARMAGEDDON IS UPON US!!!!!
i just saw someone crawling up the stairs to the dorm while screaming "i have the best vagina!"
Welcome to my life. currently drinking beer through two straws. easier/faster that way.
We should have parties more often. I ended up with 90 beers and someone cleaned my toilet.
I was. I was trying to blow bubbles in the toilet after I threw up in it. They had to carry me everywhere. I lost a sock.
he's listed in a fb relationship with a girl born in 1993. i'm too drunk to do the math on that one, but i am sober enough to know that's illegal
Are you really this nice or are you just trying to get in my pants?
Both?
Just found a hole in my wall with your left shoe in it.
happy find a boyfriend by next Valentines Day. Its like a new years resolution but depressing
The orgasm outlasted the Charlie horse. Pros and cons.
Woke up on a mattress on a roof this morning with a pair of briefs next to me. Oh fleet week.
My roomate has me out looking for easter kegs hidden arround town
You ran through a field yelling "I'm frolicking! I'm frolicking!" Then fell on your face. How is your nose today, doll?
Those thigh tattoos deserve the handsomest of grins between them. Dont settle.
Also Fuck you Stephen King and Fuck the horse you rode in on, making me cry In front of my coworkers.
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