Why were you high on a thursday?
today's a wednesday
I asked first.
He looks like a mix between a retired piano teacher and a cat that just swallowed a sock.
Midget Michael Jackson impersonator dancing to Beat it in Penn Station almost caused me to miss my train. God, I
She might as well just lie down with one of those red "Easy Buttons" next to her
His room was full of guns. It was like having sex with Clint Eastwood.
She fucked me for a ride to the airport. If this is what the rest of college is like, I'm never graduating.
Dude. Apparently I just smoked some stuff that's used for Nigerian spirit quests.
his finger was half off and he was more concerned that he wasnt at home shooting cucumbers out of his potato gun.
I also turned off the Anchorman DVD start menu before cause I didn't want Will Ferrel watching me lose my virginity.
WHAT THE FUCK KIND OF NINTENDO FILLED GLORIOUS ENCHANTING FANTASY LAND ARE YOU IN?! DUDE DID YOU MOVE TO THE 90S?!?!?!
If you need us, Zoe and I will be on my kitchen floor drinking Gatorade and crying
I think I caught your cold through my vagina. It was worth it.
I'm gonna send you a dick pic now just so your uncomfortable at work
He's talking about feelings now. I don't even know if he came???
Let’s not dwell on the negatives. I have a fat ass and suck dick well.
Randomize
