Would you object to my putting the bidet video on my Facebook page? It;s awesome.
Moving to Utah. Got sick of alcohol and have a severe wife shortage.
So i banged this chick from Peru last night. Needless to say, I'm having chipotle for lunch todayas a south American reward to honor her.
Dude, I just cut my asshole on the new toilet paper. If you rationed the grocery money to buy drugs, I better be getting some.
Dude, smoked out of a pumpkin tonight. I like Halloween more now
I just bought 4 bottles of wine in sweats at 530 on a monday night. Fuck law school
The UPD just told me that he was going to call the cops if i try to run. you owe me 5 dollars, i told u they arn't real cops
We found him in the backyard throwing shoes onto the roof yelling "WHO BRINGS CROCS TO A HOUSE PARTY?!"
We got back from the bar and started watching bizzare foods, which subsequently led to the consumption of large amounts of rancid lunch meat and small insects.
Bro, she said my penis was the best thing to happen to her mouth since teeth.
so I found out I could dislocate my shoulders on demand while I was trippin on e last night...
He finally delivered on the dick pic, and Jesus Christ, it was worth the wait.
I'm spring cleaning all of the fuck boys out of my life.
New drinking game idea: Take a shot for every republican you see on facebook bitching about the ruling.
I am pants-free in the living room. This is liberating.
Randomize
