He is drunkenly eating my teddy grahms and making little growling noises as he bites the head off of each one.
So, do you think I should wash the ashes off of my forehead before going to the strip club?
Hne relally is a cite oerfect gome. Nes awddddddddooooome.
I feel like a fucking princess. Like an heiress of a kingdom of drugs.
Just asking. Could've given you a lap dance in a sombrero, drenched in corona and tequila.
God Bless cinco de mayo
my longitudinal study of the long term effects of sloth and alchol-intake is nearly complete.
so you are graduating this semester.
Omg last night I was giving shots out like I was the Willy Wonka of the alcohol world.
Okay. So I've done lines off a bible. But that's just for the sake of being cliché.
Fell asleep on kitchen floor again, chicken nuggets everywhere.
Also what’s the official rule on washing one guy’s jizz off my back before I go out with another guy? That I should?
I still judge her for aggressively trying to get coke from my date but pretty cool that she's a black belt
I'm going to the store to get corona, salad, and blunt wraps...
whoevers yellow car is in your driveway right now... i plan to steal. just an FYI
I’m not saying you’re wrong, I’m just saying he’s denying what you’re saying.
She dropped the call after she told me she doesn't want to hear about how loud he can scream.
Randomize
